As I try to figure out what I am supposed to be when I grow up,
I feel certain that God is directing me and teaching me some valuable lessons about life.
Though I do not see Him, I love Him, and I feel so strongly that I see Him all around.
The photo sessions I have been blessed to be a part of have honestly touched me in some pretty extraordinary ways. Maybe this is God's therapy for me. Or an earthly reward. Whatever it is, I am embracing it and loving it while it is a part of my life.
I believe our relationships refine us (sometimes very painfully), but they are also the most amazing glimpse at a tiny fraction of heaven. I don't know how else I could feel such deep, honest, gripping joy working with people I barely know... how my cheeks ache from grinning while I edit... how the time seems to slip by so quickly while I am "working." I think I crave it because I feel like it is a way for God to hug me... and a way for me to hug back.
I know the pain of loss. Every human does. Nothing minimizes the pain of loss, but sometimes having these photos that portray a tiny moment between people that symbolizes so much- well, it can take one little edge off of regret. One of my favorite pictures of my oldest 2 children is one where they are holding hand and laughing together--- (They Don't Do That Anymore!!!)
One day, I'm sure they'll come back around to appreciating one another, but the relationships we have one year evolve into something different the next year.
One of my favorite hymns pops into my head pretty often throughout the week.
Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me save that Thou art
Thou my best thought by day or by night
Waking or sleeping Thy presence my Light.
My strongest prayer as I spent the last year turning a passion into a business
was a plea to God to be my vision. For "the eye is the lamp of the body.
So if your eye is unclouded, your body will be full of light." (Matt 6:22)
He gives me the courage; He gives me the energy, and He gives me the vision.
We need encouragement, and we need relationships, and I am grateful for this new vehicle to develop relationships where encouragement can be shared. The relationships that encourage me put everything else into perspective.
"So if there is any encouragement in Christ,
any comfort from love,
any participation in the Spirit,
any affection and sympathy,
complete my joy by being of the same mind,
having the same love,
being in full accord and of one mind." (Phil 2:1-2)
